Even Broken Crayons Still Color

I never doubted that I would be healed of cancer, at least not initially.  In fact, before my first surgery, I asked the doctor if he planned to confirm that the cancer was still there before operating.  I could tell from his quizzical expression that he was thinking about scheduling me for a psych consult.  It's hard to explain but when you think you have great faith, it often comes across as foolishness.  I didn't want to have an unnecessary surgery when I had plans for God to heal me.

It turned out that my cautiousness wasn't needed.  Not only was the cancer still there, but when they operated they didn't even get it all. I was not looking forward to surgery number two or surgery number three.  By this time, I didn't know what I believed and I didn't know what to do.  It was time for God and I to have a serious conversation.  I had put together a list of things that, if followed, would almost guarantee immediate healing. 

• I prayed. 
• Others prayed.
• I made a list of every healing scripture I could find.
• I even included a dozen or so promises that weren't specifically healing but it couldn't hurt to have them.
• I confessed the scriptures several times a day.
• I listened to recordings of others reading healing scriptures.
• I read every book I could find on healing.
• I listened to every message I could find on healing.
• I confessed every known sin in my life.
• I asked God to reveal any hidden sins.
• I confessed a few things that might not be sins but were definitely borderline.
• I followed the doctors' orders.
• I felt confident I had the right team of doctors.
• I felt confident I was being treated at the right facility.

What else could God possibly want of me?  What was I missing?  I was just about at the end of myself!  Little did I know, that this was only the beginning.  God had plans to use the broken pieces of my life.  I had no idea that even broken crayons still color.